Cause when all people see and expect from you is perfection, they fail to understand you are one of them. And though you might be giving it your all, they cannot see the struggle within. They cannot understand the whimsical wanderings of your heart and the tiny tug of apprehension in the corners of your mind , The faint lines of worry around the smile on your lips, or the quiet laughter bubbling in your eyes while you try your best for your eyes to reflect their worries.
How often is it that I wish people could see me for what I am, rather than what I am with them. For my presence in the life of even those closest to me is largely a reflection of their expectations and beliefs of me.
Few people live their lives in a binary fashion, one with a scale that has but two measures, a zero or a ten, a shade of balck or a white. For those of us who do, life is brutal, a mockery of your beliefs and yet strangely calming in the realization that this is how it was meant to be. My adament and somewhat ridculous expectations stems from a trust that I feel only with a handful. It is when they deny me that expectation that it stings the most. For what is life that has no expectations?
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